


black and white and flashing lights

by lonely_is_so_lonely_alone



Category: Castle
Genre: Freeverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 07:09:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4778162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonely_is_so_lonely_alone/pseuds/lonely_is_so_lonely_alone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sky is cloudless and the grass is green and everything is far too beautiful for it to be a funeral. (but it is) He sees the glint of the gun just a fraction of a second to late.</p>
<p>Freeverse</p>
            </blockquote>





	black and white and flashing lights

The sky is   
cloudless  
and the grass is green  
and everything is   
far  
too beautiful for it to be  
a funeral.  
(but it is)  
He sees the glint of the gun  
just a   
f r a c t i o n  
of a second  
to   
late.  
....  
Later, when he's old  
and grey  
and she's there by his side  
he wonders what would've  
happened if   
that fraction of a  
second   
hadn't happened.  
.....  
She doesn't see it  
not then  
but she   
feels  
it  
(of course she would)  
To her the world is  
exploding   
-quite like the pain in her chest-  
black and white and   
flashing lights  
she can see him  
above her  
holding her  
telling her he loves her  
....  
Later, when she's alone in that void  
after what should've been their wedding  
she wonders   
just for a second  
that if she hadn't lied  
hadn't broken him the way  
she had  
he would've still been with her  
(but he comes back)  
....  
The pain is too much  
and she can't speak  
she's been shot  
he's the last thing she sees  
before   
everything is gone  
and there's no more  
flashing lights  
and black and white  
....  
the beeping is driving him  
insane  
but it's showing him  
she's still fighting  
that she still has a chance  
he hasn't lost her yet  
yet  
...  
the next time he hears that noise is   
when his mother dies  
it's cold that day  
winter, nearly Christmas  
and he cries  
she slips away quietly  
-Martha does-  
and he can't quite help the feeling  
that she should've gone out with a  
BANG  
(but she's just there one minute and gone the next)  
....  
Her father is with them,  
waiting for news  
because she was shot  
Lanie's crying in a corner  
trying to pretend she's not  
and he is just numb  
and everything moves  
in  
s l o w   
motion  
and he can't  
breathe  
because  
he   
is  
going   
to   
lose  
her  
(and there's nothing he can do)  
...  
When she wakes  
in a hospital room  
that reminds her of  
her   
mother  
for no particular reason  
she can't believe she's still alive  
she'd resigned herself to death  
and now she was breathing  
feeling  
living  
Josh is there when she wakes  
sitting by the bed  
half asleep  
she doesn't wake him  
she does, later,  
but not straight away.  
....  
When Maddox  
hits her  
and hurts her  
and throws her off  
that building  
everything turns   
black and white with flashing lights  
and she thinks she'd going to die  
(but she doesn't)  
....  
he doesn't see her  
not after he walks out  
of that hospital room  
when she tells him she'll  
call  
(but she won't)  
they don't talk  
not for months  
because   
everything is   
broken   
...  
later, when they're  
married he asks  
her to tell him about it  
about how she spent those  
three months  
and she doesn't reply  
not to start with  
but then she does  
[it was lonely]  
and then she goes to the kitchen and   
they don't talk about it  
....  
they sit on the swings  
and she tells him  
about her  
|walls|  
and they haven't talked  
in   
so  
long  
it feels  
fragile  
like one gust  
of wind  
and they'll go back to being broken  
but the make it  
(somehow)  
....  
Sometimes she had these dreams  
horrible  
terrible   
dreams  
-nightmares-   
where she made a different decision  
and they're so vivid   
and they always end with   
black and white  
and flashing lights  
and he's there to hold her when she wakes  
(Because they're just dreams)  
....

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I had a real problem getting this work actually up so it's not really the way I wanted it to be. But it's the best I could get with my laptop hating me. There is a version of this up on ff.net which is slightly different.  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11499423/1/black-and-white-and-flashing-lights
> 
> Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed it :)


End file.
